Glass of milk

Glass of milk

Somebody left a Glass of milk next to the keyboard.

Reactions?

Optimist: The Glass is half full.

Pessimist: The Glass is half empty.

Futurist: The milk's in the wrong half of the Glass.

Pascal programmers: Well, what type of milk is it?

C Programmers: No thanks; I drink straight from the jug.

Assembly programmers: No thanks; I drink straight from the cow.

Basic programmers: No thanks; I'm still breast feeding.

MIS COBOL programmers: I'LL DRINK IT IF YOU CAN GIVE ME UNTIL NEXT YEAR.

Fuzzy logic guys: I may or may not have drunk some part of that milk.

Prolog programmers: I know I drank it-just don't ask me how.

Non-procedural language programmers: I drank it when nobody was looking.

UI designers: What's that crap in my Glass?

Pentium users: I drank Glass*.49999999... but don't hold me to that.

Windows users: Where's my straw?

Mac users: Where's my pump? UNIX users: Nahhh...too easy.

Multimedia author: <slurp!>

Shareware game author: That glass is free; the next one you have to pay for.

Security consultant: Where'd the rest of the milk go?

CIA: What makes you think that's milk?

NSA: We know what it really is.

Copy protection crazies: Somebody drank half my milk and didn't pay for it!

Free Software Foundation: That milk is the cow's contribution to all mankind!

Schrödinger: That damned cat got into the milk again!

Bill Gates: Not enough market share to be Microsoft(R) Milk[TM]

Apple Computer: You guys really oughta be drinking Perrier

IBM: Rent the Glass from us and we'll fill it with something we know is good for you.

IRS: Thanks for getting your milk witholding correct this year.

National news media: Hey, we wanted OJ!

by Jeff Duntemann (With a little Help from Carl A. Franz)