Microsoft Humor Pictures

bluescreen - rebot

Don't wait weeks for Microsoft to come out with a patch for the latest exploit or vulnerability... Patch it yourself!

With over 125 biullion estimated holes in .NET Framework alone, it won't be long before you "discover" one that will carry your name!

That's a lovely top you have on:

Did you have your hair cut? It suits you. Gosh, you've lost loads of weight. Did you see that documentary about

• babies
• kittens
• boyfriends
• shoes

last night?

you're NOT going anywhere today!

Window Cleaning For The 21st Century

Total Control Edition 1.0

Version Jurassic 3.51 Microsoft

Extensis:

• Undo Stupid Changes
• Read Boss' Mind
• Adjust Boss' Attitude
• Create Idea
• Insert Brilliance
• Extend Deadline
• Enhance Salary
• Find Better Client
• Restore Wasted Evenings
• Save Weekend

Tools:

• Undo Stupid Changes
• Take Back Flippant Comment
• Create Brilliant Idea
• Extended Deadline
• Read Bosses' Mind
• Adjust Subordinate's Attitude
• Terminate Smart-Ass IT Technician
• Increase Salary
• Find Better Client
• Reclaim Wasted Evenings
• Extend Weekend
• Find Perfect Mate

Looks like you're committing suicide!

Office Assistant can help you write your suicide note. First, tell us how you plan to kill yourself...

Please insert Windows install disk #1...

Our hardware runs better without Windows!

Hiroshima 45 - Tschernobyl 86 - Windows 95

Start: Haugesund, Rogaland, Norway

End: Trondheim, Sor-Trondelag, Norway

Total Distance: 1685,9 Miles

Estimated Total Time: 47 hours, 31 minutes

Never trust a Microsoft product...

Did you ever try to load Windows 95 on a Commodore C64?

READY.
LOAD "WINDOWS 95",8,1

SEARCHING FOR WINDOWS 95...

These are the secret manufacturer's settings in Microsoft Windows.

"Would you like me to

• Hump you leg.
• Chase a car.
• Shit on the carpet."

"It looks like you're writing a letter.

Would you like me to

• Bollosocks it up for you
• Just fuck off and leave you alone"