Microsoft Press Releases

Microsoft Press Releases

Microsoft to buy God

Microsoft Corporation today announced its intent to purchase, copyright, and upgrade God Himself.

Microsoft Corporation becomes Church of Microsoft

Microsoft Corporation announced that it has applied for a change in status from commercial entity to a religious organization.

Microsoft Buys America!

REDMOND, Wash. - Oct. 21, 1997 -- In direct response to accusations made by the Department of Justice, the Microsoft Corp. announced today that it will be acquiring the federal government of the United States of America for an undisclosed sum.

Microsoft Bids to Acquire Catholic Church

In a joint press conference in St. Peter's Square this morning, MICROSOFT Corp. and the Vatican announced that the Redmond software giant will acquire the Roman Catholic Church in exchange for an unspecified number of shares of MICROSOFT common stock.

Microsoft announces MS Panhandling

Microsoft Corporation chair, CEO and all-around babe magnet Bill Gates announced yesterday the introduction of a new product for Windows 95: Microsoft Panhandling.

The Microsoft Joe-Bob™

Microsoft today announced the release of Joe-Bob™, a new software package that the company hopes will open up a huge untapped computer market.

Microsoft Clarifies Trademark Policies

In response to customer inquiries, Microsoft today clarified the naming policy for Bob™

Windows 95 Will Have the Coolest Users Ever

The Coolest User Ever

Microsoft to shorten name

Microsoft today announced that it will be changing its name to "Moft"

Microsoft to sell Ad Space in Error Messages

Microsoft announced that it is selling advertising space in the error messages that appear in Windows.