Modem Taglines

Modem Taglines

• .Sig! .Sig a .Sog! .Sig it loud! .Sig it .Strog! -- Karen Carpenter with a head cold
• And we'll have fun, fun, fun `till Daddy takes the Modem away!
• 2 + 2 = 5 It HAS to, the computer says so.
• @TOF@TOFIRST@ must be home. The modem is still warm.
• A bad day Modeming is better than any good day working.
• A confident manner is important: Computers can sense this!
• A job is nice but it interferes with my Modeming.
• A Modemer's telephone bill knows no bounds.
• ACK-NAK-ACK-NAK. Modem in hay fever season?
• After dinner, he said, Your modem or mine?
• After three days without modeming, life becomes meaningless.
• All modems are baud and not Bald
• Another good day; the computer is still working!
• Another victim of Modemus Addictus.
• As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
• Become a programmer--make a living crashing your computer.
• Behind every good computer - is a jumble of wire...
• Bored at 3:00 a.m.? PSSSTTT - got a modem?
• Buy a 14.4 modem so your messages don't get out even faster.
• Byebyte: Losing a file in your computer.
• CAT.COM started. Computer will furball in five seconds.
• Choosey Modemers choose .GIF
• Citation for slow Modeming: Going 2400 in an HST lane.
• Coming to a TV network soon, Days of Our Modems.
• Coming to a TV soon, Days of Our Modems
• Computer (com-pyoo-ter) n.-Incredibly fast idiot!
• COMPUTER DEPARTMENT - mistake$ made whyle you waite.
• Computer freak number 9,999
• Computer hacking is a Federal offense punishable by fine/imprisonment!
• Computer illiteracy? You mean my computer's supposed to READ?
• Computer possessed? Add DEVICE=EXOR.SYS to your CONFIG.
• Computer programmers wanted - Some assembly required.
• Computer simulations have imaginary mass.
• Computer, delete @TOF@TOFIRST@'s personnel file, along with @TOF@TOFIRST@, too.
• Computer, load program 9 -- Execute
• Computer, Tea, Earl @TOL@TOLAST@, hot.
• COMPUTER.COM installed. SEXLIFE.EXE removed from memory.
• Computers and Fandom - There's got to be cheaper hobbies!!
• Computers are irrelevant- Windows has been assimilated.
• Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
• Computers can never replace human stupidity.
• Computers Rule 01001111 01001011.
• Computers.....the #1 cause of divorces......
• Confidence is important; the computer can sense fear.
• CRUISING: 19200bps modem and 0.5bps fingers!
• Cursor (n): what you become when your computer crashes.
• Dad, do you suppose Santa has a modem?
• Did you say MNP means Modem Needs Pizza?
• Do you know how to keep a Modemer in suspense?
• DOS: Tells a computer what to do with itself!
• Error 0011: Fax Modem Not Responding, Check Hardware
• Faster, Cheaper, More Efficient - Modems or Wives
• Faster, faster, foolish modem! ...
• Ferrets are like computer viruses, they get into everything.
• For warm boot, put computer in dryer for 20 minutes.
• FORVAL MODEMS, A Glance Into The Future!
• Fun, fun, fun, 'til her daddy takes her Modem away!
• Gary must be home. The modem is still warm.
• Get your modem runnin'... Head out on the I-way...
• Get your modem runnin, Head out for the Highwaves!
• Guess who taught @TO@ to use a computer...?
• Happiness is a warm modem.
• Happy Modeming, Always!
• Hark! What mail from yonder Modem breaks?
• Have fun and good modeming!
• Help! I'm Modeming ... and I can't hang up!!!
• Home is where the computer is plugged in!
• Honey, our phone bill can't be that big! I have an HST modem!
• I am SysOp, hear me roar, with modems too fast to ignore...
• I can't be mistaken - my modem is error-correcting.
• I had a life once....but now I have a modem..
• I know nothing about computers.....therefore I am........
• I modem down, but they growd back.
• I tried an internal modem, but it hurt when I walked.
• I used to have a life... Now I have a computer!
• I wish computers would do what I think I asked for!
• I'm a modemer & I'm OK, I post all nite & I sleep all day
• I'm a modemer and I'm OK, I post all night and I sleep all day.
• I'm a Modemer and I'm OK, I sleep all night...
• I'm NOT addicted. I just use the modem all the time.
• I'm Queeg 500, the Red Dwarf backup computer. -- Queeg
• If something has to go down on me, why does it have to be my computer?
• If there was a computer in the bathroom, I'd never leave it!
• If it wasn't for C, we'd be using BASI, PASAL and OBOL.
• In need: SlOw 486 computer!! please leave a message!!here!
• Is my modem supposed to smoke like that?
• Is that a modem in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?!?
• Just a modern modem mage cruising the electronic highways.
• Keyboard: a device for entering mistakes into a computer.
• KEYBOARD: Instrument used to enter errors into a computer
• LIVE! Via Modem...
• Lizzie Borden.... America's FIRST hacker!
• Look, mom: No Modem!
• Lookout World! The Modem is Ringing!
• MacIntosh: Computer with training wheels you can't remove.
• Maybe my modem cable is faulty...
• Me? ... Addicted?? ... To Modeming?? ... Naah, it'll never happen!
• Memory parity error - Turn computer on and off 12 times
• Misspelled? Impossible. My modem is error correcting.
• Misspelled? No way! I use an error-correcting modem.
• Misspelled? Impossible. My modem is error correcting.
• My computer has EMS... Wont you help?
• My computer's sick...I think my modem is a carrier...
• My modem has premature bauding.
• My other computer is a 386DX
• My other computer is a Timex Sinclair.
• My other computer is a TRS-80 Model 4.
• My other computer is a VAX.
• My other computer is an F-14's targeting system.
• My other computer is Majel Barrett....
• My other computer looks JUST like @TO@.
• My other modem is a U.S. Robotics Dual Standard.
• Myth #1: The computer only does what you tell it.
• Nice computers don't go down.
• No carrier? How we gonna land this modem?
• Not tonight, dear. I have a modem.
• Not tonite Honey; I have a Modem!
• Oh give me a phone, with a modem on loan....
• Old Modemers Don't Die; They Just Get Faxed To Heaven.
• One modem said to another: Hey, you've got a nice baud!
• One modem said to another: mind showing me your bits?
• One modem said to the other Do you have to echo every thing I say?
• One modem to another,That's quite a baud you've got.
• OS/2 1/2 an operating system for 1/2 a computer
• Oxymoron: computer security
• Oxymoron: Large-scale Mini-computers.
• Oxymoron: Personal Computer.
• Prevent computer viruses. Install Trojans!
• Put your money where your modem is!
• REAL multitasking - 3 computers and a chair with wheels!
• Remember, to a computer 1 + 1 = 10.
• Save gas. Travel by modem.
• Save gas: Commute by modem
• Save paper......send it by modem
• Say, Pilgrims! Get all the Modems in a circle!!
• DEVICE=CATNIP.SYS <- driver for cats who compute..
• Error in REALITY.SYS down, Run BIG_BANG.EXE (Y/N)?
• Error locating MAFIA.EXE - program not executed.
• Executing SENILE.COM ..... ERROR: Out of Memory.
• Have you tried X-LAX.EXE for Windoze? ... cleans it right up!
• I have a life. C:\VIRGINIA\LIFE.EXE.....See?
• In your CONFIG.SYS you must specify SET BUGS=OFF
• MODERATR.COM FOUND RESTORE TOPIC.ON? (Y/n)
• Need A Lawyer? Email To: oj.simpson@lajail.com for info
• ODOSCAN.EXE: keeps the Quarks off of your hard drive.
• PARODY ERROR: Can't Find File WEIRD_AL.EXE
• Problem loading SENILE.COM ... out of memory.
• Questions? C:\moderatr.exe\shoot\on_sight.run
• Real Programmers use COPY CON PROGRAM.EXE
• REALITY.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot universe? (Y/N/?)
• SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . .
• SeXDrive ready. Insert SEX.EXE? (Y)(N)
• Technobabble limit exceeded. Del JARGON.EXE Y/N?
• Unable to locate REALITY.SYS - Universe halted!
• Unable to open LEVI.ZIP Continue TAKELEAK.EXE? (y)(N)
• Unlike the cleaning lady, I have to do Windows.
• WIFE.COM not working, MALL.EXE busy, better get $$$.BAT
• .SYS, .COM, .EXE
• ***CONGRESS.SYS corrupt.*** Reset Washinton D.C.? (y/n)
• >>>>>>>>>>>>>>I have a life. C:\MARYLAND\LIFE.EXE.....See?<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
• Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS to CONFIG.SYS
• ALZHEIMER.COM found . . . Out of . . . something . .
• BOBBITT.SYS NOT FOUND... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
• BRAIN.SYS NOT FOUND!!! A)bort, R)etry, F)ail ?
• BREAKFAST.COM Halted .... Cereal port not responding!?
• C code. C code run. Run code, run...please?
• C:\BARNDOOR\OPEN\RUN\ZIP\NOW.EXE /BLUSH
• CAT.COM started. Computer will furball in five seconds.
• COFFEE.COM not found: (A)dd more, (R)eheat, (F)reak out?
• COFFEE.SYS Not Found: User startup disabled.
• Computer possessed? Add DEVICE=EXOR.SYS to your CONFIG.
• COMPUTER.COM installed. SEXLIFE.EXE removed from memory.
• CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C (Y/n)?
• DEVICE=CATNIP.SYS <- driver for cats who compute..
• /earth: file system full.
• Error in REALITY.SYS down, Run BIG_BANG.EXE (Y/N)?
• Error locating MAFIA.EXE - program not executed.
• Executing SENILE.COM ..... ERROR: Out of Memory.
• Have you tried X-LAX.EXE for Windoze? ... cleans it right up!
• I have a life. C:\VIRGINIA\LIFE.EXE.....See?
• In your CONFIG.SYS you must specify SET BUGS=OFF
• MODERATR.COM FOUND RESTORE TOPIC.ON? (Y/n)
• Need A Lawyer? Email To: oj.simpson@lajail.com for info
• ODOSCAN.EXE: keeps the Quarks off of your hard drive.
• PARODY ERROR: Can't Find File WEIRD_AL.EXE
• Problem loading SENILE.COM ... out of memory.
• Questions? C:\moderatr.exe\shoot\on_sight.run
• Real Programmers use COPY CON PROGRAM.EXE
• REALITY.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot universe? (Y/N/?)
• SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . .
• SeXDrive ready. Insert SEX.EXE? (Y)(N)
• Technobabble limit exceeded. Del JARGON.EXE Y/N?
• Unable to locate REALITY.SYS - Universe halted!
• Unable to open LEVI.ZIP Continue TAKELEAK.EXE? (y)(N)
• WIFE.COM not working, MALL.EXE busy, better get $$$.BAT
• ... êêêêêêê Use JIM_EXON.SYS to end freedom of speech and Modeming! êêêêêêê
• Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up this floppy disk?
• Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
• I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got!
• We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
• Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.
• Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
• The secret of the universe is @*&^^^ NO CARRIER
• Did anyone see my lost carrier?
• Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
• I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing!
• He who laughs last thinks slowest!
• Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
• "More hay, Trigger?" "No thanks, Roy, I'm stuffed!"
• A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
• Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
• Error, no keyboard - press F1 to continue.
• There's too much blood in my caffeine system.
• Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
• I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac.
• Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control!
• Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now .
• Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
• I won't rise to the occaasion, but I'll slide over to it.
• Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I.
• Double your drive space - delete Windows!
• What is a "free" gift ? Aren't all gifts free?
• Assassins do it from behind.
• If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.
• "Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."
• Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
• Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
• Oops. My brain just hit a bad sector.
• I used to have a handle on life, then it broke.
• Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
• I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
• The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
• Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.
• The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
• When there's a will, I want to be in it.
• Okay, who put a "stop payment" on my reality check?
• Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
• I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.
• We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?
• All generalizations are false, including this one.
• Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
• C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit.
• "Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy.
• Is reading in the bathroom considered Multi-Tasking?
• My computer isn't that nervous...it's just a bit ANSI.
• My computer's sick. I think my modem is a carrier.
• Gotta run, the cat's caught in the printer.
• Honey, I Formatted the Kid!
• Spelling checkers at maximum! Fire!
• Your e-mail has been returned due to insufficient voltage.
• Who is General Failure and why is he reading my disk?
• Hex dump: Where witches put used curses...
• Never violate the Prime Directory! C:\
• Multitasking: Screwing up several things at once...
• Maniac: An early computer built by nuts...
• Stack Error: Lost on a cluttered desk...
• Stack Overflow: Too many pancakes...
• Life would be much easier if I had the source code.
• Capt'n! The spellchecker kinna take this abuse!
• C:\BELFRY is where I keep my .BAT files.
• ASCII to ASCII, DOS to DOS.
• How do I set my laser printer on stun?
• "Today's subliminal thought is:"
• 'Calm down -- it's only ones and zeros.'
• '.... now touch these wires to your tongue!'
• Computer analyst to programmer: "You start coding. I'll go find out what they want."
• According to my calculations the problem doesn't exist.
• It said, "Insert disk #3," but only two will fit!
• RAM DISK is not an installation procedure!
• Computers are only human.
• This time it will surely run.
• I just found the last bug.
• The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance. -Robert R. Coveyou Oak Ridge National Laboratory
• It's redundant! It's redundant! -R. E. Dundant
• Bug? That's not a bug, that's a feature. -T. John Wendel
• The programmer's national anthem is 'AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH'. -Weinberg, p.152
• On a clear disk you can seek forever. -Computerworld button
• I write all my critical routines in assembler, and my comedy routines
• in FORTRAN. -Anonymous
• If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be
• the process of putting them in. -Dykstra
• "#define QUESTION ((bb) || !(bb)) - Shakespeare."
• "Real programmers use: COPY CON PROGRAM.EXE"
• Logic: The art of being wrong with confidence...
• To iterate is human; to recurse, divine.
• If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0
• Maintenance-free: When it breaks, it can't be fixed...
• Microwave: Signal from a friendly micro...
• Nostalgia: The good old days multiplied by a bad memory...
• God is REAL, unless explicitly declared INTEGER.
• Asking if computers can think is like asking if submarines can swim.
• From C:\*.* to shining C:\*.*
• AAAAAA - American Association Against Acronym Abuse Anonymous
• CCITT - Can't Conceive Intelligent Thoughts Today
• This message transmitted on 100% recycled electrons.
• Todays assembler command : EXOP Execute Operator
• Justify my text? I'm sorry but it has no excuse.
• Programming is an art form that fights back.
• "Daddy, what does FORMATTING DRIVE C mean?"
• All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
• Backups? We doan *NEED* no steenking baX%^~,VbKx NO CARRIER
• My mail reader can beat up your mail reader.
• Never forget: 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.
• Nobody has ever, ever, EVER learned all of WordPerfect.
• To define recursion, we must first define recursion.
• Good programming is 99% sweat and 1% coffee.