Newly discovered viruses

Newly discovered viruses

Removes a vital part of your hard disk then re-attaches it. Unfortunately, the area is permanently disabled.

Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands back to 200 MB.

Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.

Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus.

This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns you of impending hard disk attack---once if by LAN, twice if by C:>.

Never calls itself a "virus", but instead refers to itself as an "electronic microorganism."

Won't allow you to delete a file, regardless of how old it is. If you attempt to erase a file, it requires you to first see a consultant about possible alternatives.

Activates every component in your system, just before the whole damn thing quits.

It would be a great virus, but it refuses to run.

Colorizes your monochrome monitor.

Terminates your session and then disappears. It'll be back.

Prevents your system from spawning any child process without joining a binary network.

Thers sumthin rong wit yur komputer, butt ewe jsut cant figyour it out!

Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.

Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people really mad just thinking about it.

Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of your computer.

Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent of their data 14 percent of the time. (plus or minus a 3.5 percent margin of error.)

Prints "Oh no you don't!" whenever you choose "Abort" from the "Abort" "Retry" "Fail" message.

Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.

Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.

The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.

You're in Dallas, but your data ends up in Singapore.

Your computer becomes obsessed with its own motherboard.

Your programs stop every few minutes asking for more money.

Makes your computer get fat and lazy, then self destructs; only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations across America.

Causes your printer to suddenly become a paper shredder.

Just does it.