Primes

Primes

Several students were asked the following problem: Prove that all odd integers higher than 2 are prime.

Mathematician: "3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, and by induction, we have that all the odd integers are prime."

Statistician: "100% of the sample 5, 13, 37, 41 and 53 is prime, so all odd numbers must be prime."

Physicist: "3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is... uh, 9 is an experimental error, 11 is prime, 13 is prime... Well, it seems that you're right."

Wouldn't a modern physicist employ something like renormalization? "3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is... 9/3 is prime, 11 is prime, 13 is prime, 15 is... 15/3 is prime, 17 is prime, 19 is prime, 21 is... 21/3 is prime."

Quantum Physicist: "All numbers are equally prime and non-prime until observed."

Chemist: "3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime.. that's enough."

Cosmologist: "3 is prime, yes it is true..."

Engineer: "3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is..., 9 is..., well if you approximate, 9 is prime, 11 is prime, 13 is prime... Well, it does seem right."

Engineer: "3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is not working, fetch toolbox."

Engineer: "3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is prime, 11 is prime..." (Continues until told to go home by others)

Computer scientist: "I've just whipped up a program to really go and prove it..." He goes over to his terminal and runs his program. Reading the output on the screen he says, "1 is prime, 1 is prime, 1 is prime, 1 is prime..."

Computer scientist using Unix: "3's a prime, 5's a prime, 7's a prime, segmentation fault. core dumped."

% prime
usage: prime [-nV] [--quiet] [--silent] [--version] [-e script]
       --catenate --concatenate | c --create | d
       --diff --compare | r --append | t --list | u --update |  x
       -extract --get [ --atime-preserve ] [ -b, --block-size N ]
       [ -B, --read-full-blocks ]  [  -C,  --directory  DIR  ]  [
       --checkpoint     ]  [ -f, --file [HOSTNAME:]F ] [ --force-
       local   ] [ -F, --info-script F --new-volume-script F ]  [
       -G,  --incremental  ] [ -g, --listed-incremental F ] [ -h,
       --dereference ] [ -i, --ignore-zeros ] [  --ignore-failed-
       read  ] [ -k, --keep-old-files ] [ -K, --starting-file F ]
       [ -l, --one-file-system ] [ -L, --tape-length N  ]  [  -m,
       --modification-time   ]  [  -M,  --multi-volume  ]  [  -N,
       --after-date DATE, --newer DATE  ]  [  -o,  --old-archive,
       --portability   ]  [  -O,  --to-stdout  ]  [  -p,  --same-
       permissions, --preserve-permissions ]  [  -P,  --absolute-
       paths  ]  [  --preserve       ]  [ -R, --record-number ] [
       [-f script-file] [--expression=script] [--file=script-file]
[file...]
prime: you must specify exactly one of the r, c, t, x, or d options
For more information, type ``prime --help''

Computer Scientist: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 7 is prime, 7 is prime, 7 is prime... Bus error. Core dumped.

The computer programmer method is: "3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is prime, 9 is prime, 9 is prime, 9 is ..."

Opps, let's try that again: "3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is ... 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is ... 3 is ..."

Um, right. Okay, how about this: "3 is not prime, 5 is not prime, 7 is not prime, 9 is not prime..."

So much for the beta releases. Ship this: "3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is a feature, 11 is prime..." and put on the cover "More prime numbers than anyone else in the industry!"

Coming soon: "3 is a prime, 4 is a feature, 5 is a prime, 6 is a feature, 7 is a prime, 8 is not yet implemented, 9 is our backwards compatibilty module, ..."

Windows programmer: "1 is prime. Wait."

Mac programmer: "Now why would anyone want to know about that? That's not user friendly. You don't worry about it, we'll take care of it for you."

Bill Gates: "1. No one will ever need any more then 1."

TRS-80 Computer Programmer: "One is prime, Two is prime, Three is prime, Out of Memory."

Computer Scientist with a Pentium: "3 is prime, 5 is prime, 6.9999978 is prime..."

Software tech support operator: "Well, we haven't had any reports of composite odd numbers... do you have the latest version of ZFC?"

Logician:

Hypothesis: All odd numbers are prime

Proof:

If a proof exists, then the hypothesis must be true

The proof exists; you're reading it now.

From 1 and 2 follows that all odd numbers are prime

Confused Undergraduate: "Yes, it's true. Proof: Let p be any prime number larger than 2. Then p is not divisible by 2, so p is odd. q.e.d."

Linguist: "3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 aaah. I can make 9 a prime."

Linguist: "Are you lot going to shut up and buy me a beer or not?"

Philosopher: "Why don't we just call all the odd numbers prime and call all the prime numbers odd, that way all the odd numbers would be prime."

Philosopher: "3 is prime. Hum, thats an interesting statement, I'll get one of my research students to look into that."

Economist: "Assume 9 is prime..."

Economist: "2 is a prime, 4 is a prime."

Economist: "2 is even, 4 is even, 6 is even..."

Economist: "3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is not prime. Look - the prime rate is dropping."

English Major: "1 is prime, 2 is prime, 3 is prime, 4 is prime... Any fool could prove that the above is wrong..."

After all, no English major can count that high!

Theologian: "3 is prime and that's good enough for me!"

Theologian: "No after all before God all numbers even, odd and prime are created equal."

Christian: "I'm sure the Bible says that all odd numbers are prime."

Pope: "9 is prime. If you think otherwise, prepare to be damned."

The Psychiatrist: "1 is prime, 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is prime but trying to supress it, 11 is prime..."

Shrink: "3 is prime, 5 is prime etc... And how could one specify 'prime' anyway?"

Psychologists: "Do they want to be?"

Sociologist: "3 is a number, 3 is prime, all numbers are prime."

Sociologist: "Is it right to call numbers odd?"

Multiculturalist: "Pfui! There you go, classifying numbers into categories."

Lawyer: "3 is prime, yet 5 could be anything, taking into account, but not limited to, the fact that 4 may or may not be prime, depending on the witnesses' testimonies and the written evidence furnished."

Lawyer: "According to Maths v Logic, 9 was judicially declared prime"

Accountant: "3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is prime, deducing 10% tax and 5% other obligations."

Accountant: "What would you like it to be?"

Politician: "3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is composite, 11 is prime - we can ignore 9 because the primes have a majority."

Corrupt Politician: "For a sufficent donation, 9 can be reclassified."

Politician: "Do you want them to be?"

Manager: "3 yes, 5 yes, 7 YES, 9 Now let's take a positive attitude here."

QA: "1 is not proven, 2 no and reported, 3 not proven, 4 no and reported..."

Butcher: "Prime? What do numbers have to do with meat?"

Crank: "9 IS PRIME! NOW WHERE IS THE CAPS UNLOCK?"